Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
