Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
