ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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