I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
