How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
