3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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