summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
