So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
