You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
my poor anus
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
