dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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