hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
