It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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