Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
