Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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