Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
They took my balls.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
