there was a trapeze. enough said
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
3pm strippers are depressing
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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