my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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