From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
