You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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