Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my being single is dangerous.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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