You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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