matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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