Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
