and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
