weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
