I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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