help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
