Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im six kinds of drunk right now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
