Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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