Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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