He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
