Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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