I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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