i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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