Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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