yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
