I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
