She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
