Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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