just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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