I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
