I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She announced her abortion via fbk
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
