UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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