you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
