You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
