just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
