Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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