If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
