Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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