SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
