Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
