What did we do last night that was yellow?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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