what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You left your phone here
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