imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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