Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
