its not stalking. its research.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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