Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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